A few words for the wise:
To achieve success driven by great communication patterns simply:
1) Drop the pretense.
2) Put it in the past tense.
3) Just be in the present tense.
4) Your future will be far less tense.
Stephen Covey author of 7 Habits for Highly Effective People suggests that most managers spend 80 percent of their day fighting "Fires" or things that are urgent and important. Most of these are a result of miscommunication/ lack of understanding.
If you are going to spend the time (listening to someone) don't commit the crime (not really listening to them.)
There are a ton of pretenses that can get in the way of us being in the moment with someone and truly listening:
1) Being super busy ourselves and thinking ahead
2) Their attitude
3) Their appearance
4) Past experiences with them
5) The environment we're in
just to name a few.
Drop them and experience the time saving, relationship building benefits of being 'in the moment' when speaking with someone.
If you can't drop them, tell them upfront and schedule a time when you can.
They'll thank you for it.