Cut to the Chase

I know many of my friends appreciate people who get right to the point, or in other words: "Cut to the Chase"

Cutting to the Chase is also a great thing to remember to do when dealing with conflict. Let's just say that someone bursts into your space with their voice up, body animated and is more or less really upset about something.

Consider this: Joe (a workmate) barges into your space and starts screaming “I can't believe you're asking me to do this now! It is due tommorrow and it means I'm going to have to stay late to get it done. I'm NOT Happy.” You can add in any expletives that might normally accompany those words.

My advice: Cut to the Chase.

Cutting to the Chase means separating thoughts from feelings.

What are Joe's feelings?

They are definitely anger and frustration. If you react to those you're in for a fight. On some days, this might seem appealing, especially if you are looking to unload some frustration as well, but we all know it won't help either of you in the long run. When you put someone's “nose out of joint” they won't see past it to hear what you are actually talking about. Arguing resolves nothing.

Effective Communicators address the thought of a statement.

Always ask : What are they really asking me for?

Given Joe's comments, what he is really asking you to do is to respect his time.

Cutting to the chase means your response should be something like:

“Wow Joe, my intention wasn't to frustrate you that much. How much lead time do you need in the future for these types of requests? You shouldn't have to put in overtime to get this done."

When you cut to the chase, you actually solve issues that need resolving instead of wasting time

on unproductive and unhealthy conflict that gets zilch done.

By the way, my experience has been that as you cut to the chase, Joe usually ends up coming back later that day saying something like “Sorry for blowing up like that this morning.. it just hasn't been a good day. I know you didn't mean to frustrate me.”

We've all had days when were frustrated and angry with other people. Its a natural emotion. As people approach you with those emotions, just cut to the chase to get things done.

p.s. I realize there is a line between normal, everyday anger/frustration we've all seen and abusive behaviour. Abusive behaviour should be met with zero tolerence and does require you to cut to the chase as well but will be different in nature.